How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
