I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I smell like Dick and happiness
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
