Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
