I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
