now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
