I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
