I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
