Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Randomize
