Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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