How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
handjob tips. give me some.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
