You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
