I'm eating all of the evidence.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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