She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
