Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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