well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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