so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
