Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
