I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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