I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
