why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
