my mouth tastes like poor choices
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
