But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
