...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
