I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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