When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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