We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
