Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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