Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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