thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
