you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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