I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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