He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize