Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
