Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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