Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
