GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you traded sex for a burrito?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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