naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize