Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
