dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So much Jack, so little girl.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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