Tell her she can't have a vagina
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
