I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
