he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
