i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
