A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
