I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
