Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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