Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
