I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
