sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
