so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
