You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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